By Mr. Kwan Hin Pan, Director of Financial Education Association Courses and Training
Every parent hopes their child becomes an optimistic, positive, and confident individual. However, nowadays, there are more and more children who suffer from feelings of inferiority, and as parents, how should we address this issue? In fact, there are four methods that can be considered to build children’s confidence.
1. Identify the Causes and Administer the Appropriate Remedy
Many children’s feelings of inferiority do not stem from innate factors but are caused by misguided teachings from adults. Some psychologists point out that many primary and secondary school students have weak self-awareness and often evaluate themselves based on the opinions of adults. Even when they have independent perspectives, they tend to be one-sided.
Therefore, during this period, if teachers and parents assess a child’s abilities improperly, it can harm their self-esteem and confidence, leading to feelings of inferiority. Moreover, some parents excessively criticize their children’s behaviors and constantly nag them. Such excessive evaluation can also generate feelings of inferiority in children. Additionally, children who have poor academic performance or subpar physical health may develop feelings of inferiority. Therefore, when a child experiences feelings of inferiority, it is crucial to first analyze the underlying reasons.
2. Reasonable Expectations and Evaluations
When parents help their children overcome feelings of inferiority, they must understand their abilities and levels, set appropriate expectations, and provide reasonable evaluations. For example, if a child consistently fails in exams, parents can initially set a goal for them to pass a specific subject. If the child meets this expectation, parents should acknowledge and encourage them, and then set further goals.
During this process, parents should not worry about setbacks or be too impatient. They should affirm the child’s spirit of effort, patiently analyze the reasons behind setbacks, and encourage the child to give their best. Only then can children see their progress step by step, witness the achievements they have made through hard work, strengthen their confidence, and overcome feelings of inferiority.
3. Broaden Perspectives and Expand Knowledge
When children with feelings of inferiority compare themselves to others who possess similar knowledge deficiencies and limited perspectives, they naturally feel inferior. Therefore, parents should consciously enrich their children’s knowledge, broaden their horizons, and enhance their various abilities.
Parents can guide their children in reading and take them on educational trips, allowing them to feel that they have acquired knowledge and skills, and that they are not inferior to others. This gradual process helps eliminate feelings of inferiority within them.
4. Apply Encouragement Skillfully
The most important aspect for parents in helping their children overcome feelings of inferiority is to respect and protect their self-esteem. For example, when a child achieves unsatisfactory results in an exam, parents should empathize with their feelings, put themselves in their shoes, help the child analyze the reasons, and develop rational measures. They should not let emotions take over and resort to sarcasm, ridicule, blame, or reproach.
Criticism often proves ineffective for children with feelings of inferiority. On the contrary, praise and encouragement often yield unexpected results. Therefore, when a child makes progress, parents should promptly acknowledge and praise their efforts. Even when a child encounters problems, parents should affirm the positive aspects within those situations. This not only helps them rebuild their confidence and overcome difficulties but also strengthens the parent-child relationship, achieving two positive outcomes at once.
